Do any of these scenarios resonate for you?1. You are in a new role at work and you’re worried you won’t have what it takes to get the job done. 2. You are about to go on a first date and you’re worried you won’t make a good impression. 3. You have an idea for a new business venture but you’re afraid to get started because it might fail. What do all of these scenarios have in common? A lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities. Yikes! Now, let me first say that this is completely normal when venturing into unfamiliar territory. It’s actually how our brains are designed. We are wired to avoid danger and survive, and our brains can register unfamiliar circumstances as dangerous. So congrats to you, your brain is doing its job! The goal here is NOT to completely eradicate the fear and self-doubt that arise when faced with unfamiliar circumstances (although I know we’d all like to!) We actually need that function to operate properly so it can protect us from truly dangerous circumstances! INSTEAD, the goal is to learn how to navigate and REDIRECT those self-doubting thoughts when they arrive. How do we do this? Let me share two ways with you! 1. It starts with noticing when the lack of confidence is happening. This is what I call ‘Activating the Observer’. The moment we notice and observe the self-doubting thoughts, we immediately create a little space between the thoughts we are having and the actions (or inactions) they lead to. This gives us the opportunity to redirect our thinking down a more self-serving path. Once we’ve created that space we could ask ourself the following questions:
- What circumstances am I thinking about and what am I thinking about them?
- How is that making me feel?
- What actions (or inactions) are a result of that feeling?
- What is the result of those actions (or inactions)
- What is a result I would prefer?
- What actions lead to that preferred result?
- How would I need to think and feel to take that preferred action?
Once you’ve landed on a new ‘reframed’ thought, its time to make it your mantra! here to see if working together feels like a fit!Creating new neural pathways requires intention and repetition, so write that new thought down and stick it to your mirror. Say it out loud in front the mirror 20 times a day (seriously do this until it doesn’t feel cheesy anymore). Repeat, repeat, repeat it until it’s baked into your brain. Ok that’s number one, and I said I was going to share two methods with you but I’m going to save the second tip for my next email and let you get started with this one! Simple as it may seem there can be a LOT to unpack with the above method so give it a shot and see what comes up for you. I do this exercise now every time I notice an uncomfortable, self-doubting or self-defeating thought. Taking the few minutes to acknowledge the thought, write it out and reframe it is honestly SUCH a game changer. Try it out and I’d LOVE to hear what you think, so send me a note here if you notice any shifts! Stay tuned for part two coming your way soon!! Xo, Mischaela Ps. Enrolment is open now for my self-paced group program ‘The Path to Self-Love’ which helps growth-minded Empaths go from self-criticism and self-doubt to self-compassion and self-confidence so they can go for a life that truly lights them up! If this sounds like you, respond to this email or book a complimentary discovery call