My pregnancy flattened me, energetically.
I have to say I was fortunate enough to have had a wonderful birth and now a delightful baby, but I’ve been barely hanging on when it comes to my physical energy.
If we’re going by the Red/Yellow/Green scale I’m always talking about , it would look like this:
Emotionally – Green Zone
Mentally – Low Yellow Zone (mostly in terms of functionality)
Physically – RED ZOOOOONE
Spiritually – Yellow Zone
This would put me at an overall energy level of Yellow BUT I want Greens, Greens, Greens across the board!
As I mentioned in a recent Instagram post, I recently pulled out my trusty Energy Management Guide and mapped out where exactly my energy was draining in each of the above areas. I then chose some small shifts to make going forward that felt doable and sustainable to help recharge my energy and get me into that sweet sweet Green Zone.
One of these small changes was to get some intentional movement in each day, a walk, a stretch, an exercise, no rules about what or how long.
Another small change was to switch my listening choices to music instead of Podcasts to give my thinking mind a rest.
Well, lo and behold, music and movement go really well together! So the other evening, after my husband put the baby down and went out on a well-deserved night out to see his friends’ band play, I figured what the heck, I’ll put some music on and do a little stretching.
So I put on some Sol Rising, lit candles, turned on the oil diffuser (a custom blend the lady called ‘Relaxing Mommy’ lol) and I got down to it.
And holy shit it felt so good.
I haven’t intentionally stretched for probably 6 months. I’ve been avoiding my body. It’s been so uncomfortable for so long that I got in the habit of keeping it verrry still and paying it no more attention than required for adequate functioning and health of baby.
Shortly after Julian’s birth I pushed myself a little too hard trying to get up and moving again and wound up exhausted and in pain, winding back the clock on my healing body.
So I’ve been taking it reeeeal easy.
Slowing down, and resting.
Foreign concepts to my previous self.
Now that it’s been 12 weeks since giving birth I’m starting to gear up again. I can handle more activity, and I’m all healed up as far as I can tell.
So when I hopped on my mat the other night and bent over in a forward fold my muscles were like HELLO! Remember us?? And I was like I DO! I do remember you!!
My attention immediately went out of my head and into my body, noticing every fibre of my muscles releasing as I dangled my upper body forward and swayed side to side to the music.
My body took over from that point on. Swaying, stretching, bouncing to the music. For the next hour I had a yoga-stretching-dance-party for one and it led to an outcome I was not anticipating.
While shaking and stretching the tension out of my muscles I thought about the energy required to HOLD that tension. Holding a muscle in a tense position has GOT to take more energy than just letting it hang loose right?? And the more I trusted my body to move and relax itself into the positions nature intended, the more I felt it letting go. In doing this I was freeing myself from this tension – this unnecessary physical drain on my energy.
As my muscles released and relaxed I noticed emotions start to arise. I lay reclined with my knees open and images of giving birth came back to me. I became overwhelmed by the power of that experience. I laid there almost in tears as I honoured my body for the incredible process of growing and bearing a life into this world. Feeling love and and compassion for my body, holding space for the incredible pain and discomfort it had endured this past year. Feeling compassion for the emotional rollercoaster I’d been through this past year as I transitioned from Mischaela the individual/coach/entrepreneur to Mischaela the Mom.
In feeling these emotions I was letting them go, releasing them in the same way I released the physical tension in my muscles. Freeing myself from the energy required to store these emotions in my body.
I continued to lay there in bliss and surrender and noticed I was feeling a deep connection with my Inner Self, my Inner Guide, who is always there waiting patiently for me to come back to her. I felt nothing but warmth, love and a deep sense of inner peace and connection with all that is. I laid there for who knows how long, basking in this experience of utter contentment.
When I finally got up I felt light, energized and giggly. I found it amusing that what started as a simple stretch to some music turned into a full scale spiritual reconnect!
This was a perfect example of how small shifts can lead to big changes. I’m so glad I set the small intentions of daily movement and music, and then listened when some part of me had the impulse to put them together for a Friday evening stretch.
Will I do this every day? Not necessarily, but in combining my intention with my impulse, I gained valuable insight into all the ways I was wasting energy, physically, mentally, emotionally.
It was a reminder of how I was cutting myself off from the endless abundance of spiritual energy available to us all.
I will continue to focus on the small shifts for now, appreciating myself for the effort, and welcoming with gratitude whatever lessons may come through this process of recharging my energy and coming back to myself.